No One Could Have Anticipated.

People that wanted to vote for Al Gore couldn't, because a felon with a similar name tried to register to vote. They were scrubbed from being able to cast a vote. No one could have anticipated that. No one could have anticipated that elderly Jewish voters would vote for Pat Buchanan. George W. Bush was selected as President. This was a once in a lifetime anomaly in our otherwise proud democracy.

Then we heard these words from Condi Rice. "No one could have anticipated" some assholes flying airplanes into buildings. Except, as we found out later, it was anticipated, spelled out and put into a briefing memo that was ignored. This was a once in a lifetime event, but we had to quickly go to war against Iraq to ensure that we would not see mushroom clouds over our cities. We had to quickly approve a stunning roll back of personal rights called "The Patriot Act." We'll shock them. We'll awe them. They'll greet us as liberators. We were told that "No one could have anticipated" that citizens of a sovereign nation would object to our heaving ordinance into their cities, through their roofs and windows and would fight back when they started to see their countrymen die. The mission was accomplished.

Then, "No one could have anticipated," that the levies protecting New Orleans would fail. This was a once in a lifetime event. Except, yes, people did anticipate that one too. But those that warned us and urged us to invest in building stronger levies were diminished by the crowd that wanted to make government so small that you could drown it in a bathtub. Instead they drowned a city.

Now, our entire economy is in peril. These same fools that wanted to make government so small that you could drown it in a bathtub want to make you think that they had nothing to do with the looting of our fellow citizen's wallets, that these events were a once in a lifetime confluence of unrelated bad luck that no one could have anticipated. They want you to forget that they were the ones rolling back regulation after regulation and allowed the rich to pillage the people that make America great. They want you to capitulate and quickly approve a massive bailout to the same crooks that ripped you off.

Tell 'em no. Tell 'em that, in a once in a lifetime event, you'll elect a different guy to lead us out of this. They won't anticipate that.

Aftermath USA

Dear American:

I need to ask you to support an urgent secret business relationship
with a transfer of funds of great magnitude.

I am Ministry of the Treasury of the Republic of America. My country
has had crisis that has caused the need for large transfer of funds of
800 billion dollars US. If you would assist me in this transfer, it
would be most profitable to you.

I am working with Mr. Phil Gram, lobbyist for UBS, who will be my
replacement as Ministry of the Treasury in January. As a Senator, you
may know him as the leader of the American banking deregulation
movement in the 1990s. This transactin is 100% safe.

This is a matter of great urgency. We need a blank check. We need the
funds as quickly as possible. We cannot directly transfer these funds
in the names of our close friends because we are constantly under
surveillance. My family lawyer advised me that I should look for a
reliable and trustworthy person who will act as a next of kin so the
funds can be transferred.

Please reply with all of your bank account, IRA and college fund
account numbers and those of your children and grandchildren to
wallstreetbailout@treasury.gov so that we may transfer your commission
for this transaction. After I receive that information, I will respond
with detailed information about safeguards that will be used to
protect the funds.

Yours Faithfully Minister of Treasury Paulson